Recently, I shared a post I wrote last year on ASD Acceptance, which prompted a few conversations with various friends. On foot of those, I figured I could do with giving a wee update.

The past year has been a revelation in so many ways. We now have #2 and #5 with a diagnosis of ASD, and #2 and #4 both on the pathway for an ADHD diagnosis. Into the bargain, while researching both, we’ve come to the conclusion that The Old Progenitor likely has ASD and I likely have ADHD (self diagnosis vs seeking an official diagnosis is another story for another day)… We haven’t quite worked out what neurospicy flavour #1 and #3 have yet (though on present showing, #3 is definitely more neurosparkly than neurospicy) — they could just be fun and interesting little weirdos from hanging out with us, who knows!

We’ve found both #2 and #5’s schools to be very good when it comes to working with ASD students — obviously there’ll always be room for improvement, but both have been receptive and have taken on board suggestions (and criticism) we’ve had for our girls. In both cases, they have a classroom assistant to help them in school, and this seems to be working out reasonably well — it’s early days with #2 but #5 has had her 1-1 for 2.5 years now and she is an absolute superstar. Have there been wobbles? Yes. Have there been times where I’ve been maybe just a little bit on the warpath? Also yes. But for the most part anything we’ve been unhappy about has been changed fairly quickly and things have gotten back on an even keel. I know not everyone has had the same mostly positive experience as us, and we are likely to unfortunately be the exception rather than the norm, so I’m really grateful that we’ve found people who are willing to work along with us rather than make things more difficult for the girls.

Socially, #2 is getting on a lot better too. In my previous post, I mentioned how her one and only friend had started making comments about how she should change, how she was weird, and how she didn’t look autistic. I was really impressed at how she dealt with all of this… There I was, ranting on social media and on my blog, calling meetings with the school, etc etc, and in a much more mature fashion, she approached the girl: “You know, what you said really hurt my feelings.” The girl apologised, said that wasn’t her intention, and the two are best buddies to this day. (It didn’t surprise us in the least to find out that the same girl had her own ASD assessment a few months later…)

(This picture is a whole ‘nother story in and of itself…)

In another plot twist, the girl in her class who “ditched” her at the start of the second term came back and apologised, saying that she was wrong and that she’d really like to be her friend again. The two sit next to each other in most lessons and get on like a house on fire. Along with a few other kids that she’s met through an autism group in school, her little tribe is beginning to come together, and we couldn’t be happier for her.

Since getting her diagnosis several months ago, she has really embraced her autism and no longer feels like she’s an oddball or that there’s something wrong with her.  She says it’s like she’s a Playstation and there’s no point in trying to play a game for the XBox in a Playstation — it doesn’t mean the Playstation isn’t working, it just means that it works differently.  The fact that she’s in good company, with Daddy and #5, has probably helped in that regard. Seeing how Daddy is funny, clever, successful and all kinds of wonderful has shown her that this is not something that will hold her back, unless she lets it. “Interesting people follow interesting people” as her teacher said last year…

(Also… Not related to ASD, but… Yeah.  Sorry.)

In case I give the wrong impression, it’s not always a bed of roses. There have been a lot of challenges… a LOT. And it’s been a rough ride, negotiating all the twists and turns and trying to avoid burnout and meltdowns and overstimulation and sensory challenges (a good set of ear defenders or Loop earbuds are a must). It can be hard being a parent to neurodivergent children when you have your own sensory challenges too — I’m just glad that there are two of us because we can usually tag team it and get through without too much added drama.